Terribly Overrated Terrible Songs

(Rules: Song must be in frequent radio rotation, or were in frequent rotation for a long time. Hating random deep cuts doesn’t count.)

Freefallin’ (Tom Petty): She’s a good girl, crazy about Elvis. Good lyric. But it all goes downhill from there. Over-processed guitars, stupid chorus and stupid lyrics. When I found out it was written by Jeff Lynne (whose high point was Don’t Bring me Down – Bruce!) I was not surprised.

Man on the Moon (R.E.M.): It’s not just Shiny Happy People (which Stipe correctly hates). Everything R.E.M. did after Out of Time ranged between mediocre and crap. What’s the Frequency Kenneth and Night Swimming are just awful.

And you are not a cowboy Mr. Stipe. You are about as far as is humanly possible from being a cowboy.

Glory Days (Bruce Springsteen): Those insipid keyboards, the nothing chorus… what’s to like? The video didn’t help. I dislike baseball and don’t particularly need to see Bruce’s ass in bluejeans. (Are there good baseball songs? Centerfield is junk as well. Best baseball song I can think of is Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, and that’s a stretch.)

Walk of Life (Dire Straits): More stupid keyboards, more nothing lyrics and groove.

White Room (Cream): Cream is a vastly overrated band. Once you get past Sunshine of Your Love (written for Jimi Hendrix), there’s not much there. If I agree that all three musicians are very good at their instruments will you please just turn it off.

Wrapped Around Your Finger (The Police): Although I admire the lyrics (which use “scylla and charybidis”, “Mephistopheles”, and “alabaster” successfully), it’s still a terrible song. And who convinced him to do this awful dancing? You should listen to Synchronicity I instead, that thing rocks. And, by the way, casually uses “Spiritus mundi” as a lyric.