Author: Muttrox

That may be the best book I have ever read.

When I came back to work from vacation the printer was missing. There was a note on the wall where the printer used to be. The same message was sent to me as an email, subject “Where’s the Printer?”.

In order to save cost, time, and energy xxx received permission from xxx and his direct reports to remove three HP 3880 color LaserJet printers from xxx.

The printer’s names are:
Xxx, xxx, and xxx
The larger HP color LaserJet named xxx will be relocated from its present location to the area where printer xxx was located (near the plotter machine) for better floor coverage.

Two high speed (50 pages per minute) HP copiers have been installed on xxx – xxx & xxx. These devices incur the lowest cost per page and boost the easiest user replaceable ink cartridges (no toner dust!). Please also consider using the duplex printing mode to save paper costs.

If you have any questions regarding these printer changes please contact xxx at extension xxx.

Thank you for your cooperation!

Oh, how I love being thanked for my cooperation when I had no choice. And the message leaves me with one basic question. Where is the printer!?

A simpler note would have worked.

Where’s the printer? It’s 12 feet to the left. It’s number xxx

Why are there so many people waiting for kidney transplants? Is it ethical to pay donors (Muttroxia gives a hearty “Yes!”) for their organs?

This very readable article dives into some of the problems and solutions. One of the things I liked about it is it’s sense of moral outrage. This is a solvable problems, and every day it isn’t solved increases human misery that much more.

The ad that Microsoft should be running.

Why I won’t be going to my high school reunion. Fortunately I always got along with everyone at school, but I certainly knew people who could have written almost every word of this.

JK Rowling must register as a potential pedophile. Government gone mad.

She’s not coming back

Asia sounds a lot better now

This must be a violation of the Geneva Conventions. For shame, Home Depot!

Twilight in 4 frames

What is it with the midgets?

State of the nation in Iran (funny)

Insurance Policy

Oh, the irony burns

Biggest hick shows them up in America’s got Talent

Greatest drunk story ever told (NSFW)

Bear cub’s late reaction

Need a good comeback to “Make me a Sandwich”

Going down the stairs the cool way

Deadline

Another great Borat story. Commitment.

American Media in a nutshell

Backseat driver

Shooting clay pigeons. With a bow.

Just for the sake of completeness. Second place. Mostly by staying out of the way and letting others knock each other out.

Tonight: $71
Running Total: Haven’t the vaguest. Probably a little down?

From the New York Times today:

LONDON — The controversy over the ethical and legal issues surrounding assisted suicide for the terminally ill was thrown into stark relief on Tuesday with the announcement that one of Britain’s most distinguished orchestra conductors, Sir Edward Downes, had flown to Switzerland last week with his wife and joined her in drinking a lethal cocktail of barbiturates provided by an assisted-suicide clinic.

Although friends who spoke to the British news media said Sir Edward was not known to have been terminally ill, they said he wanted to die with his ailing wife, who had been his partner for more than half a century.

I think it’s incredibly romantic.

Two years ago I complained about an Indiana gas station that arranged the different grades of gas in reverse order. Unless you were paying attention you could easily end up buying premium gas accidentally (as I did).

In the last two years, it’s only gotten worse. I’ve seen reverse ordering at a few other gas stations. And then there’s this one.

Pathetic. Just cut it out.

Dr. Dooms brilliant stand-up act.

Why Kanye West is a douche

Town officials can’t figure out what 2/3 of 206 is

Fantastic commercial. NSFW audio, but don’t bother without audio

This is a great first car because…

Minimum wage

In emergencies

Gary: Landlord of the flies

Emails from an a-hole

Humorous toilet directions

Graduation shirt

Deeply flawed, but funny, posthumous zinger

A political parable

The Beatles and Clash in Rubik’s cubes

STFU, Parents

Surface: The view from underneath

An oldie but goodie – Michael Lewis on a football innovator

Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat and Bruno) on interviewing a terrorist. Not in character, as himself.

Will they ever learn? I guess not.

A roundup of Palin lies

I can’t complain about the hands last night. I had more than enough to play. It was the kind of night for weird hands – good beats and bad beats with unlikely draws.

On the third hand I limped in with A-7. The flop was 7-7-6. With a set of 7s and the best kicker, it was time to milk the pot. I bet medium and got one caller. On the turn he checked, I bet medium, he called me. On the river he bet out first. I came over the top with a large raise. He re-raised me. Sucker. I called him. He turned over 7-6, he had flopped a full house. Son of a… I was very short-stacked already. I played aggressively the next hour. I made a little progress but eventually got caught. I rebought.

At 50-100, I had A-A in the small blind. I did a standard raise to 300. The big blind called me, everyone else folded. The flop was an innocent looking J-5-2. I plopped in 500. He dithered and came over the top with a bet of 2,000. Hm. He could have two pair. Or a set. Or pure bluffing. There were two clubs out there, maybe he’s semi-bluffing with a flush draw. Hm. Ah, I can’t fold this. I went all in, another 2,900. He called and turned over 5-2 for two pair. I was surprised he had called my pre-flop raise with that, but that’s how it goes. Lady luck was smiling on me. The turn card was another Jack. That counterfeited him. (That means that his pair of 2s didn’t matter anymore – he now had two pair of Jacks and 5s, whereas I had Aces and Jacks.) The river card of a jack, giving me a full house, was just to rub it in.

As we combined into one table I was in the chip lead with one other player. We had started with 14 players. We were down to 10 and I had about five times my starting stack (~12,000). An hour later we were down to five players and I had about the same – so things had evened out a bit.

At 300-600 I have K-A. I raise it to 2,000 and get one caller. The flop is Q-x-x. I continue to push with another 2,000. He calls. I suspect he has the Queen. The turn is a blank. I check. This time he puts in 2,000. Hm. He probably has me beat. I have about 6,000 left, it costs me a lot to call. I only have six outs. On the other hand, it costs me 2,000 to pick up 12,000+. What the heck, I call. The river is an Ace. I bet another 2,000 and he is already cursing as he is forced to call and see me take almost all his money.

The very next hand I limp in as the small blind with 9-10 suited. It’s raised and I call. The flop is 9-7-3. With top pair I put in a generous bet. The same player from last hand goes all-in with his remaining stack. It’s only 1,400 more and I have to call him. He had pocket 8s, my 9s take him down. I don’t think he’s going to talk to me for a week.

Now we’re down to the final three. I am the big stack. The player to my right is an interesting one. He’s fairly new to Texas Hold’em, but he knows poker in general. It’s now getting late and he’s been making noises about how he needs to get home. The week I was out he needed to go home early also. He went all-in three times in a row and won each time. He was in 5th place and just walked away from the table. So I figure he’s going to be playing any two cards.

At 500-1000 I raise preflop with A-10. He goes all in. It’s not much more and I have a good hand and I expect him to go all-in with weak hands, so I call. He has K-x. He flops his king and doubles up. He now has a little bit more than me. Grr.

The next hand I have pocket 9s. I put in a raise, he calls. The flop is A-7-4 and he goes all-in. Argh. Does he have the Ace? I think he has the Ace. But maybe not. A fold here knocks me down to short stack at the table. Ah, heck, I call. He has an ace. I end up knocked out in 3rd place and a $26 profit on the night.

See my standings here.

On vacation, my friend (and frequent Muttroxia commenter) and I were chatting and Harrison Ford came up. He noticed that both his names were the surnames of Presidents (Benjamin Harrison & Gerald Ford). We tried to come up with any other famous people who were the same. A few hours later he got one. I couldn’t get any.

The puzzle is to find any reasonably famous person whose first and last names are the surnames of American Presidents. It must be the actual form of the name (Adams or Jefferson, not Adam or Jeff).

Go!

The Muttrox clan and one our main commenters will are on vacation through July 5th or so. Enjoy the links!

The death of Michael Jackson, 1, 2, and 3.

When good bananas go bad: A banana scaring people.

More fun with Facebook: They pimp your wife

Twitter Creator On Iran: ‘I Never Intended For Twitter To Be Useful’

Darwin award nominee(s)

Funny I-phone

WWII propaganda posters for the modern era

Before they were heavy: high school photos of heavy metalars

Beginner shredding to Eric Clapton. Explore the related videos for more.

Well this is awkward: journalism restraining order

Online journalism, then and now

Hazard sign

The first car made in Detroit after the government takeover.

Hiding pregnancies on TV

Your eyes cheat your brain: incredible optical illusion

Real 60-foot Gundam statue erected in Japan. And it moves.

Statistical evidence that the Iranian election was stolen. This analysis reminds me of Benford’s Law, which can be used in similar ways. (I can’t find the link, but some smartass did the same thing to New Hampshire result in 2008 and saw similar oddities.)

Fox News does seem to have a problem identifying party affiliation

Rapist goes back decades later to ask forgiveness. Interesting view on rape in South Africa.

The 897 greatest musical artists. I really liked this list, and not just because The Who are at #9. It feels right.

A Tale of Two Houses: An Inconvenient Truth