Author: Muttrox

Question: What do the following things have in common?

0) We’ve known about flying planes into buildings for years, but do close to zero about it. Until someone does it, then airport security goes nuts.
1) Someone tries to explode a plane with a shoebomb. From then on, all passengers get their shoes inspected. Oh, but it’s optional for children.
2) Someone tries to explode several planes with some liquid explosives. From then on, no passengers can bring liquids on planes. Except infant formula — since we all know that terrorists would never be so jaded as to use an innocent human life for their own purposes.
3) There is no more protection of chemical plants or ports than there was five years ago.
4) Homeland Security funding to the states is based on congressional seniority, or astrology, or something clearly at odds with empirical reality.
5) More nations are going nuclear than ever before
6) Nuclear materials are still pretty much as easy to get as ever. (John Kerry and George Bush both identified this as their greatest worry in the ’04 debates).
7) Only 40% of Americans accept evolution.

Answer: They’re all incredibly stupid. The last one has nothing to do with this security post, I just find it shocking.

Oh, by the way, did you know that we knew about the liquid gel idea back in 1994? Perhaps the security policy is this:
Figure out or discover a technique by which the bad guys can get us
Take no measures of any kind
Hope that when it is attempted, you stop it in time
If you do, take draconian measures that may or may not stop that technique, but definitely piss off hundreds of millions of other people.

There’s no real point to this post. It’s just remarkable how stupid, corrupt, and ineffective all of our security policies are, and that no one really seems to care that much.

I flip to this show once in a while. If nothing else, I’m hoping to see David Hasslehoff reprise his greatest lyrics ever — hooga hooga oooga chakka, hooga hooga oooga chakka, hooga hooga oooga chakka… (easily the worst video ever, simply off the unintentional comedy scale).

So here’s my issue with America’s Got Talent. Some of the acts shouldn’t even be allowed on the stage. Not because of their [lack of] talent, but because of their field. Let’s just say it. Comedians, Singers and Musical bands shouldn’t be eligible. Why?

Because there are so many other ways for these people to get recognized if they really are talented. There are already plenty of venues for talent in these fields to be recognized. You can be out performing at countless open mic acts across the land, building a following, and getting to be famous the way all of your heros did. And if you’re really that talented, you’ll make it.

On the other hand, if your talent is quick change routines, juggling, smoking lots of cigarettes, mulitplying numbers quickly, or any of the truly bizzare acts, what else are you going to do? Not a lot of other ways to the top for you.

This is related to the now-famous Funnel Theory. If you are a comedian or musician, and you appear on America’s Got Talent, all you’ve proven is that you are a complete failure among your peers, and you are even worse than a sellout — you are a sellout that no one wants to buy.

They started a soccer team at work. Open tryouts/scrimmage. It’s been a long time since I played, and I’m out of shape, but what the heck. I always liked soccer, and how bad can I be? Like riding a bike, it’ll come back quick.

Last week:
After a creditable five minutes at left fullback, I am sucking air. I sub for the goalie to get a rest. Immediately I make a save, deflecting the ball to the side. I run after the ball, but being pressured, kick it upfield. Right into the waiting feet of the other team, who easily puts the ball in the now-empty net. It is then I realize, what with being the goalie and all, I could have just picked the ball up.

On the next play a defensive mistake leads to a breakaway, one man attacking the goal with no defenders. I don’t mind that he scored, but he scored by dinking the ball through my legs. Ouch.

In the second half, I move back to my customary fullback spot. The other team has a corner kick, and I am guarding the back post. The ball lofts towards the goal. It is deflected by the goalie, and comes right past my head. Without any conscious thought, I reach up and slap at the ball. I am not the goalie at this point. Twenty-one other players stare at me. And my slap doesn’t even stop the ball. Absolutely pathetic.

This Week:
And yet I am ready for more. Today I figured I’d have worked a few kinks out. I’ll still be out of shape, but at least I’ll be past the dumb mistakes. Yes sir, bring it on, I am ready.

On the very first play, running towards the ball, something in my thigh goes pop. I call for a sub, hobble off to the sideline, and wincingly make my way to the car.

I suck.

Balance. I saw this at an Animation festival (back when that was something artistic), and was captivated by this. Thanks to the wonders of YouTube, it’s back. A wonderfully haunting allegory about nuclear weaponry. (Or something.)

Bill Simmon’s (SportsGuy) YouTube Hall of Fame. Chock full o’ links to great sports and pop culture videos.

Fun with Flash:

The Wand. A minor internet sensation, well worth your time.
A neat, but oddly disturbing, Flash story.
Flyguy. A great timewaster, and the music is groovy also.

Yesterday, or the day before, DeKalb county put a complete ban on all outdoor watering. I found this interesting, because I have just finished reading Jared Diamond’s latest book, Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed.
Don’t recognize that name? He’s the author of Guns, Germs and Steel. One of the threads running through Collapse is enivromentalism, and how human psychology interacts with environmental issues. Humans generally are not very good at understanding or reacting to long term or low risk threats, which is where environmental concerns usually occur. Humans also (quite naturally) are extremely selfish, and won’t sacrifice much for other groups of humans.

Throughout the world, freshwater supplies are dwindling. In my area of the world, three states spend much of their time bickering and suing each other for access to the same limited supply of water. I am one of the consumers of that water (the Chatahoochee basin). The water’s dissapearing fast, so conservation measures are being enacted. This year is particularly bad, because a faulty chip somewhere let a billion odd gallons go out without anyone noticing, and the government wouldn’t believe the residents who told them the water level looked low.

A total ban is unusual around here. Most counties go to alternate water days (odd-numbered houses one day, even-‘s the next), or certain hours of the day, or other halfway measures. I wonder how effective partial measures are. If I water my lawn 3 days a week, what do I care which days it is? I have a timer on my sprinkler, so the hours of the day doesn’t bother me. Does it significantly decrease consumption?

What incentives are there to rat on neighbors? I find this fascinating. The day after the ban started, our next door neighbor was watering her plants same as always. I dramatically cut back the sprinkler schedule (to about 8% of what it was), but didn’t completely turn it off. Never for a moment did I think that either of us would tattle. But if usage had been more overt I might have. Two motives conflict: (1) You shouldn’t ever start a fight with your neighbor unless unavoidable, and (2) Hey, that’s just unfair! I’d love to see a study on how those motives play out in the real world.

I’ve recently begun to notice a certain kind of professional worker and their communication style. These are folks who do not seem to have had the best education, have succeeded in getting a professional level job. They have a certain image of what a professional looks and sounds like that they aspire to. I admire these folks, they are clearly more “self-made” than I am, and they are pretty good for the most part — I can tell they’re faking the style, but that’s OK, the style is for the most part, quite professional. It’s very good. But there are little characteristic tics. One of those is the word “actually” (and “actual”). The word actually is actually used when it’s not actually needed. Often. Here are two examples I hear today:

“…log into the actual system”
“..it actually tells you the amount”

Here’s a suggestion. Pay attention to when you use the words “actual” and “actually”. Try the sentence without them. If it means the same thing, use the short version. In the end, you’ll come off much better.

Another word to think about is “just”. When someone is arguing a point with you, and they use that word in a sentence, see how it reads without the word “just”. “Just” is a judgement that something is unimportant, and explicity examining that judgement can reveal biases.

“It’s just the abortion nuts who are worked up about this” Well, why shouldn’t they be mad about this, don’t their opinions count?
“It’s not an efficient use of credit card charges for just $1 or $2,” $1 or $2 can be a lot of money.
“There are just six men on the military’s death row at Fort Leavenworth, Kan., and no one has been executed since 1961.” Is six men not a lot? What’s the right amount?

Here’s a sentence I say to people fairly often: “Say that again, without the word ‘just'” Suddenly obvious points don’t seem so obvious.

Yesterday, the legendary Warren Buffet announced he was giving most of his fortune away to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Doubling it from $30B-ish to $60B-ish. Yes, that B is for Billion.

I’m a big fan of this for several reasons.
1) Bill Gates is saving the world. Seriously. Whatever your feeling about Microsoft the company, it’s undeniable that the Foundation has done more good in the world than, well, than just about anything I can think of.
2) I’ve always been annoyed at celebrities and philanthropists starting their own charities all the time. We really don’t need the Fatboy Slim Illiteracy Foundation, there’s a hundred foundations out there already. I’m impressed that Buffett has so little ego, he realized his money would do more good combined with a pre-existing organization.
3) God bless these guys. Seriously.
4) They have the assets of a small country. They’re somewhere around #56, the size of Bangladesh. That’s just amazing. It’s also a dose of perspective to realize just how wealthy the USA really is. Almost three times as big as the next biggest economy (Japan). Take our two of our wealthiest citizens and their assets are larger than Vietnam, Costa Rica, Iceland and many others.
5) There’s an odd consequence of this trend (if it is a trend). Modern “Conservatives” are fond of the idea that public support for it’s poorer citizens isn’t needed, because private giving will make up the difference. And lo and behold, here are Gates and Buffet doing so much to help out. But the natural result of this trend is the very rich who have a heart will give away significant portions of their money. Who does that leave at the top of the heap? The jerks. The conservative viewpoint would naturally lead to a world where the worst people had the most. Interesting.

Update: Tapped brings up an interesting angle. As much money as this is, it’s not a lot compared to what the actual governments of the developed nations could do. Instead of Gates/Buffett picking up the slack, what if some of that money was devoted to influencing our government to appropriate some funds in the same ways? Could be exponentially more effective. That would be a special interest I could get behind.

Come to think of it, isn’t the route George Soros took, funding MoveOn.org and many other liberal democratic organizations?

Database error fixed. For future reference, fix corrupted comments table (error 145) logging into MySQL and clicking on the “Repair” button fixed everything. Now that’s a user interface — a button called “Repair”. So basic, so effective. It also fixed the bug where the links to comments weren’t displaying on the post page.

I think I’ve also learned that this theme stinks, and I’ll switch to something else soon that is more readable. The default was pretty good.

So besides the usual excuses and some life events most of you know about, the database that supports this blog is corrupted or something. I’m not sure how to fix it, and Mrs. Muttrox is always on the computer doing work anyhow, so goodness only knows when I’ll get around to fixing this.

Simply substitute in one of these thoughts for your Muttrox update:
(a) Bush is a corrupt dictator
(b) Hey, why do they build those things like that… it’s so dumb!

Office Space had it right. Cars in the next lane really do go faster.

This is one example of selection bias. Selection bias is when the probability of something being chosen in a random sample is related to whatever you’re measuring. Let’s say you’re measuring the average wealth in the USA. But instead of using the census, you just ask a bunch of people at a yacht club. Your sample will obviously be biased, because someone at the yacht club is more likely to be rich. Or say you conduct a survey to see how phone numbers an average person has. You do this by selecting seven random digits and calling them. This is also biased. Those with more phone numbers are more likely to be picked for the survey.

More germane to the article I linked to, when you run or bike outdoors, you really are hitting the hard parts more than the easy. Let’s say you bike a circular course in and around the city that eventually takes you home. Obviously your net elevation change was zero. You went just as far down as up (after all, you ended up at the same point). So how can I say more of it is uphill? Because when the course is downhill, you go fast. When it’s uphill, you go slow. So at any given time, you’re more likely to be going uphill than downhill. You spend more of your time struggling up than coasting down.

There’s probably a life lesson there somewhere. Take your pick!

1) Everyone must persevere against what life offers, the struggle is what makes the race worth running.
2) Everyone’s life stinks just as bad as yours.
3) No one said that life isn’t fair.
4) Exercise is for chumps.

Update: Or another example, a CNN poll showing that 79% of those watching Bush’s speech approved of it. Gee, you think there might be a connection there of some kind?

I’m not a big golf fan, but two of my favorite jokes take place on the golf course. Without further ado…

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”
The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Let’s have a word with the greens keeper. Hi George! Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”

Three men tee off on a tricky hole, the green is on an island surrounded by water.

The first man steps up and swings, and the ball dives right for the water. He sighs, and spreads his arms. The water miraculously parts, he steps out and chips the ball up on to the green.

“Nice shot Mo!” the second man says. Then he takes his turn. His ball goes into a shallow part of the water. He sighs, steps out on to the water, casually walks to where the ball lies, chips under the water and gets the ball up on the green.

“Nice shot J.C.!” the first man replies.

The last man steps up for his turn. His ball lands right in the lake. He sighs. Nothing happens.

Then, a fish jumps out of the water with the golf ball in it’s mouth. As the fish jumps around, a hawk flies out of nowhere and seizes the fish in it’s talons. It heads skyward, but as it does a golden eagle flies out to attack it. As the hawk turns to fight the eagle, it drops the fish. The fish drops on to the green. The impact knocks the golf ball out of it’s mouth, and the ball rolls into the cup, for a freak hole-in-one.

Jesus says, “Nice shot Dad… now why don’t you quit screwing around and play golf, huh?”

Most of my readers know that I do a little guitar work here and there. I recently upgraded my recording ability. From nothing to a 8-track digital recorder. I hope to do a lot of neat stuff with it in the next few months. I’d better, because I need to justify my full-scale invasion of the guest room.

Here’s my first experiments for your listening pleasure.

Groovy Movie
Man Overboard