Author: Muttrox

I got this email today at work from our Accounts Payable department. Notice the date!

Based on a review of outstanding expense reimbursement checks, our records show that a check issued to you on December 19, 2002 in the amount of $45 has not cleared the bank.

In an effort to keep this unclaimed payment from becoming abandoned property and subsequently being escheated to the state, we are contacting you to request your assistance. Please advise Accounts Payable if this money is still owed to you. If so, a new check will be cut and issued to you.

Please respond by August 1st. Otherwise, the unclaimed check will be escheated to the state.

Accounts Payable can be contacted via e-mail at [email protected]. You can also contact Accounts Payable Manager xxxx xxxxx at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Thank in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

xxxxx xxxxxxx
Acct. Manager- Special Projects and Analysis

Wow. They find a discrepancy five years after the fact, and are still cutting me another check. Impressive.

Beatles lyrics, via Joe Cocker. Awesome.

All-time sarcasm winner? 10,000th shoplifter gets parade.

Larry David on religion

Bottled Water

WTF

That’s harsh. Read the first letter of each line.

Fantastic timing for hotels.com

Irish Scarecrow

Reaction to the Revelation That I Do Not Own a Cell Phone, By Year

Renting vs. Buying

Urban soccer goals

A very (isn’t that offsides?) sneaky goal.

On itching:

One morning, after she was awakened by her bedside alarm, she sat up and, she recalled, “this fluid came down my face, this greenish liquid.” She pressed a square of gauze to her head and went to see her doctor again. M. showed the doctor the fluid on the dressing. The doctor looked closely at the wound. She shined a light on it and in M.’s eyes. Then she walked out of the room and called an ambulance. Only in the Emergency Department at Massachusetts General Hospital, after the doctors started swarming, and one told her she needed surgery now, did M. learn what had happened. She had scratched through her skull during the night—and all the way into her brain.

A montage of car crashes in an icy tunnel

The douchiest phone message ever

You suck, CNN. No, You suck! No, you both suck!

Taking pictures with the light that didn’t hit the object. Or something. Quantum Mechanics is cool.

Now that’s a representative.

Bill Gates as enduser – a usability email

The super-fan career: a six-figure salary

David Bowie on David Bowie’s best songs

7 people with real mutant superpowers (I suspect fraud in at least half, but still…)

It is now revealed what was known. We copied torture techniques from the bad guys. I liked Andrew Sullivan’s take, “But one thing is at least clear. The people who committed this form of “enhanced interrogation” knew full well it was torture. And they used that word. It’s a good one. And it means what it says.”

In other torture news, Christopher Hitchens undergoes waterboarding to see what’s it like. Much like everyone else who has tried it (voluntarily or not), he comes away convinced 100% that it is truly torture. Hard to see how anyone with a shred of honesty can argue the point.

I’m getting sick of my own stories. In the last three outings:
1) Bleah game. Slowly chipped away, never had anything going on.
2) Looking great, in the upper half of the field. Get a bad beat, then couldn’t crack a pair of aces underneath.
3) Average play, but worked the two big hands perfectly. Good for second place.

Tonight: $30
The two weeks before that: -$40
Running Total: $26

The 5-year old was recently exposed to the wonders of Eeny Meeny Miney Mo. It didn’t do much for him. He tried it two times to see how it worked. Then he said, “This is silly. Whoever you start with wins every time. That’s why it’s not fair.” We were duly impressed at his pattern recognition.

That night, he and his younger brother were fighting over a ball. He yelled, “We need to decide who gets it! [Pointing to himself to start] Eeny Meeny Miney Mo…”

It’s a monster edition! Arranged more or less in order from funny to serious:

Notorious Hitler back in ’34.

Makin’ music with John Mayer

Top 10 Amazon Bible Reviews

Requiem for a Day Off

I really like this guy. Fighting the HOA and parking boots in a clever way

What’s on MTV these days?

We have clues – he’s red, fat and says “Oh yeah”

A Movie Review Alternative to The Happening. My kind of review.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script

My kind of greeting cards. Move over Blue Mountain.

Tiny things I hate .com

Boston responds to the Celtics win

Pick you own headline for this lunacy

Big Lebowski action figures

Warner Herzog eats his shoe.

Charles Barkley gets pwned.

Inside GM and making the Volt.

Balancing 17 dominos on 1 domino

Win a car in the lottery. TV station does a piece, asks you to reenact it. Guess what happens?
Really, this is the only valid reaction.

How Science can get distorted by liberals.

The Economics of Bling (conspicuous consumption)

The Economics of babysitting.

Here’s a real stupid idea for you: virtual speed humps.

To be sure, there is something clever about getting drivers to slow down without having to go through the fuss of actually pouring cement. But what you are really doing is training drivers to ignore speed humps. That’s using yer smarts Philly!

(Or what this guy said.)

We were driving to a birthday party. Mrs. Muttrox was in rare form.

Me: Those are some nice houses. A good sized yard for this area.
Her: Sure, but they’re over a million dollars.
Me: Really?
Her: Sure, this neighborhood is pricey.
Me: I wonder why, it doesn’t seem that great… a million dollars?
Her: Well, the ones coming up are around $900,000, so it makes sense.
Me: I guess.

(30 seconds later, we pass the next development.)
Me: I don’t see the price on the sign. How do you know those are $900,000.
Her: I don’t know, but I’m assuming they’re that much.
(pause)
Me: Wait a minute!

Firefox 3 came out today. It is allegedly already up to 6% of browser share, in less than 24 hours.

I have used it for five minutes and I am already in the bag for it. The location bar is literally called “The Awesome Bar”. It is.

Get it.

Tonight was big hands all the way. On the third hand, my nut flush lost to a full house on the river. We had a quad 8s, I got a quad 4s, there was another quad 8s. Every other hand was three of a kind or better.

Eh, the details are boring. I lost last week, won this week. Good to be the winner again.

Last week: -$20
Tonight: $60
Overall: $36 (on the plus side!)

* Some of my readers know I predicted a comfortable Celtics win. I wish I had documented it here in the blog. It might make up for some of my cursed political predictions.
* By comfortable, I meant 20 points or so. Not 39!
* Wow. I mean, wow.
* Rondo redeemed himself. I haven’t understood why announcers have been saying he was ineffective the last few games. He was playing just or good as bad as ever. Empirically, he didn’t seem any worse, so why was he being pulled out all the time? Last night was his style of playing. One suggestion: shoot with both hands. He shot six one-handed floaters, six missed. Most of those shots he had the time and space to use his other hand.
* Sam Cassell may not be The Mole, but I was glad he didn’t play.
* PJ Brown is one heck of dirty player. He has a full arsenal of sneaky tricks. He may be on our team, but I still don’t like him.
* Has Ray Allen ever looked deadlier? Was there ever a question that any of those three-pointers would miss?
* Garnett finally played the game we all wanted to see. Aggressive on both ends of the court. It’s about time they give him low post plays.
* Pierce may not have scored a lot, but his defense was impressive as always, plus 10 assists and a couple steals. I loved his halftime “interview” with Michelle Tofoya where he seemed completely confused by her question about effort. It’s the NBA, it’s the finals, this is how you play, duh! If there were any doubts they would take it, his comments about keeping the foot on the gas let you know that more was coming.
* Tofoya has a tough job. They should have let her sit down at the end of the game. Her interviewing Garnett was offensive, in that it ever happened. If I was Garnett I would have ignored her — pay a fine later. If I was ABC, I would have told Tofoya to leave him alone, the celebration was much better TV than the stupid quotes she would get. (Except maybe a celing-shattering howl of Anythings Possible!!)
* Gatorade on the coach? I don’t like it. Don’t like it in the NFL, even worse in the NBA. Gatorade got all over the floor, that should be a technical.
* I felt bad for the Lakers. That’s how I know we don’t have a real rivalry. Back in the day I would have loved nothing more than watching those lousy freakin’ Los Angeles losers get buried and heckled. It’s not the same.
* Phil Jackson got outcoached. There can be no doubt. In every way his team was not as prepared as the Celtics.
* Worst banner of the night: June 17 + Banner 17 = Pierce 34! Um yes… And guess what else? If you take Farmers age and subtract Luke Waltons number you get 17 also. Where is your god now Los Angeles!!!
* It’s really too bad the Patriots couldn’t win the Superbowl. That would have been so sweet. Maybe this was the beginning and Boston sports will run the table this year.
* Now that the finals are over, I can catch up on my sleep. And start taking care of my daughter. Speaking of kids, the Celtics have some real cute ones, eh? Kendrick Perkins and his little one year old were precious.

To paraphrase Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett: Hell yeeah! Aaarrgggooohhoooo!! Yeah!! Let me hear you!!! Gggrraaaggghhh!!!

Pikachu, I choose yo… oh GOD NO

Jon Arbuckle lays down the law with Garfield

Great motivational(?) posters

Iggy Pop’s concert rider. Hilarious.

Famous pictures done as Legos.
Tiananmen Square is my favorite.

Old people (ex-movie folks) review movies. This isn’t comedy, it’s just good reviews.
Update: They aren’t just any two geezers.

The best review of the worst book

A Fathers Day Prayer. Very funny.

A bit out of date, but a clever parody of Hillary think: Joe Dumars on the Celtics series.

How Traffic Laws make the roads less safe. I’ve been thinking this for a while, good to see it written up.

Michael Lewis on Vasectomies

Birthrates and war

The worlds biggest drawing (more detail here)

Ten great Flash animations

Paul Graham on cities. As a big Cambridge fan, I really enjoyed this. I knew there was a reason I liked to go to Harvard Square and just hang out.